Thursday, February 10, 2011

When you are this cold...

It's hard to be funny when it's below zero. It's hard to be funny when you all you really want to do is hide under the covers until summer. Every year it happens. Every year around now I just don't feel the funny. But guess what? The audience doesn't care. So what is a comedy magician to do? LIE! Yup. LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE.

When I feel crappy and I'm just not feeling the funny, I lie to myself. I tell myself that I am feeling very funny. I say to myself that I am in a great mood. Self delusion is a powerful tool when used for good of course. When your job is to create an illusion its best to start with yourself. I also tell myself I'm six foot tall, still have a 30 inch waist, and have been to India. I'm not sure why its India but it sounds interesting. It's important to be interesting. If you find that your own life isn't interesting I recommend making stuff up. It's fun. It's creative and it will keep away Alzheimer's.

When one goes to lie to oneself about something, it is very important to be careful. Little lies: good. Big lies: not so good. Exaggerations about something that really did happen: very good. Lying about something that can be proven false: very bad. This past weekend I performed for a man named Glen Miller. So saying that I performed for Glen Miller isn't a lie. Saying it was the world famous musician is a lie. It's a very bad lie because it is very easy to prove that A)the musician Glen Miller is dead. B) he died before I was born. And C) no one would care even if it was the real Glen Miller because no one cares about jazz anymore.

So, stick to unprovable, unimportant lies. Oh and only lie to yourself. Not other people. That would be dishonest. It is only acceptable to lie to other people if you are a magician (and it vanished), politician (I did not have relations with that woman.), doctor (You've got a least six months to live), parent (Santa is watching), neighbor (Your lawn looks great), boy friend (No those jeans do not make you look fat) or anyone not wanting to get in trouble (I was just saying). Otherwise lying should be avoided at all costs. It sullies one's reputation and makes them look bad among people no one really cares about.

I am sure that most self help guru's would call it the "power of positive thinking" but they are just lying to you and themselves.


About the Author: Edd Fairman is a comedy corporate and college magician residing in Chicago who never lies (except just now) and is available for your next event.



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